Dying – A Personal Experience


When I was about 8 or 9, the husband of one of my great aunts died. He had a heart attack yet he was only in his 40’s. It was sudden and unexpected. No one of course told me.
They talked about it when I wasn’t around, yet I, like most children, wasn’t stupid. Parents forget sometimes that children are there, or are in the next room and can hear. So eventually I worked out what had happened... and I was scared! Not right away; no, it took about a year. I was in bed one night but could hear the news on television: I caught something about a civil war. I didn’t know what that was and I couldn’t ask my parents. One did not ask questions in our household. So then I became afraid. If there was a war I could die and even when I understood it wouldn’t happen here the fear still didn’t leave me.
A few years later, when I was in my late teens, my aunt told me about 3 of my previous incarnations where we had been together. This knowledge that we died and returned helped for a while, but afterwards the fear came back. As I progressed spiritually, and could see and hear my guides and had experiences of the spiritual realms, one would have thought that it would have eased my mind – but it didn’t, because the experiences I had were often after I left my body when I was in sleep state. This didn’t actually tell me what it was like to die, it somehow wasn’t proof, and it was the proof that I needed. I wanted to leave my body and come back to it, similar to the reports one hears of people who have been under anaesthetic and can see their physical body whilst they hover above it in their spirit form.

Time wore on. I made up remedies for people who were terminally ill to help them go over peacefully and be delivered into the arms of their loved ones, but how could I talk to them about what it was like to die, and help them with their fears, without the experience myself? Eventually I told my guide that I wanted to experience this. As he had been with me for 25 years I should have been prepared for his unconventional response – bearing in mind what I had received to my various entreaties over the years, when I got what I wanted but not in the terms I had requested. Asking once for him to arrange for someone to drive me back from the continent because I hated flying, I ended up on an uncomfortable coach with a group of drunken youngsters – for 26 hours! His answer, well you asked to be driven back and that’s what you got! And there I’d had thoughts of a comfortable Mercedes with the top down!

So, I was thinking that he’d just take me out of my body and I’d float away and then gently back, nothing drastic. I also assumed he’d tell me when. I broke my first rule – never assume anything!
So what happened?
I was eating a chip which got stuck in my throat, so effectively I choked. My heart stopped. I know it did because I couldn’t breathe. I don’t mean it was difficult and I struggled the way one does when one has asthma, I mean I couldn’t breathe because I was dead and had nothing to breathe with! Although I only realised this after the event.
And what did I experience? You know what a sparkler looks like? Well that is how my whole body felt, if you get what I mean. It was quite incredible and there was no break in consciousness. One minute I was choking, then I wasn’t, and there was no sense of my body at all. And all around me was gold light. I could no longer see the kitchen I had been standing in. The whole thing probably only lasted a second or two and then I came back to my body again, only this time without a bit of fried potato stuck in my throat.
Has my fear gone? Absolutely, and I have no worries now about telling people what it’s like. I am also more specific when I tell my guide what I want!

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